Embarking on the journey of divorce is undeniably challenging, and choosing the right approach can make a significant difference. At Berner Law and Mediation Group, we firmly believe in the transformative power of mediation. Beyond facilitating a smoother separation, mediation offers valuable tools for creating self-determined solutions that lead to fewer post-judgment issues.
The process of mediation is one of self-reflection, creativity, and an exercise of shared understanding. The process offers guidance to generate options about future parenting and cash flow, and in so doing, the process simultaneously fosters improved communication and understanding. When future conversations need to occur about changes to what they agreed upon in mediation, the parties have the tools they have gained from the mediation process to productively determine a resolution to the issue.
The initial stages of a divorce are emotionally charged, with spouses grappling with a range of feelings from anger to sadness to worry. The nature of traditional litigation intensifies these sentiments, which can turn an already difficult situation into an emotionally layered battleground in a desperate attempt to validate each perspective. Engaging in mediation offers a space for both spouses to express their needs, concerns, and aspirations. This open dialogue fosters a deeper understanding, welcoming the emotional pieces in such a way that allows validation to occur for both sides – not from a judge or a neutral third party – but from the other spouse. This is such a powerful phenomenon of the mediation process that lays the groundwork for more empathetic and considerate decision-making in the future.
A key advantage of mediation is the ability to tailor solutions to the unique needs of the family. Mediation assists the couple in exploring various options (as well as “what if” scenarios) that will reflect the family’s specific circumstances. This customization not only addresses the concerns within the divorce but helps the couple think of outside-the-box solutions and understand what the other spouse believes is fair and sustainable, which impacts suggested solutions when dealing with future issues.
Not only does mediation offer the tools of how to effectively communicate in the future but because mediation promotes self-determined results, fewer post-judgment disputes occur. As agreements are reached through mutual consensus, the parties are more likely to adhere to the terms of the settlement, reducing the likelihood of modification or the need for enforcement.
The mediators at Berner Law and Mediation Group recognize that family dynamics do not end with a divorce but rather evolve. The mediator is in the lives of this family for a short time; there may be modifications to the divorce terms as the children grow older and have different needs, as jobs change and income fluctuates, and as the financial needs of the family transform. The mediation process supports the undeniable assumption that future conversations and adaptations will need to be made. It provides couples with a pathway of cooperation and communication tools that lay the foundation to solve these future issues and ultimately provide for a healthier post-divorce relationship.
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