Marital Mediation In New Jersey And New York

Marital mediation or Mediation to Stay Married is for married couples who are experiencing difficulties in their relationships, but would prefer to stay together and work through their issues in a constructive way. This process is a practical, solution-based approach to conflict resolution in which the couple identifies, brainstorms, negotiates and comes up with their own solution(s) with the help of a trained mediator.

This is a solution-oriented approach in which the mediator helps the couple identify the problems and work through solutions that can work for them. The couple learns how to effectively negotiate and solve the problem through mediation. Marital mediation does not aim to delve into the past or interpersonal, psychological issues of the couple or do a therapeutic analysis as would marriage counseling. It is a more practical approach aimed at resolving conflict and keeping the couple together with tools to help their relationship with each other. The overall goal is to find ways to best solve marriage issues in order to avoid separation and/or divorce down the road.

When To Seek Marital Mediation

Mediation to Stay Married may be appropriate when:

  • Traditional couple counseling would feel uncomfortable or inappropriate, or more is needed.
  • Time limitations require immediate solutions rather than in-depth explorations.
  • Success in future interactions depends on learning more effective negotiation and communication skills.

A couple will typically see a marriage mediator at the same time they are in couples or individual counseling. While trying to save a marriage, it is important to utilize as many professionals as possible. This offers the couple the opportunity for healing as well as learning new coping, communication and conflict resolutions skills. 

Common themes that destroy a relationship can be dealt with in mediation to save your marriage. Things such as financial issues, job loss, bankruptcy, inheritance, spending patterns, and adultery can all cause distrust in a relationship. Emotions, moods, different patterns of communication, issues concerning children, problems with joining new families in second/third/etc. marriages can be managed. These can all be discussed and resolved during mediation with a skilled marital mediator.

Marital Mediation vs. Marital Counseling

Marital counseling is performed by a mental health professional and involves therapeutic analysis and insights. While very useful to many couples at times during their marriage, often a couple finds that marital counseling does not produce all the results they desire, despite the skill of the marriage counselor or the integrity of the process. Alternatively, one of both individuals are just “done” with marital counseling and refuse to return to the therapist. 

Marital mediation is a practical method that relies on dispute resolution techniques. It is short-term and does not attempt to go deeply into personal and family issues. It is practical, and can often help the couple go forward in their marriage. The couple can touch upon deeper issues, if they wish to, in the future.

Often, after marital mediation, deeper issues and conflicts begin to resolve, almost by themselves. The couple is typically more accepting, and has a more realistic view of what marriage is and what to expect. Marital mediation can be transformative for a couple. The benefit of mediation is not that it can or will solve everything, but that it can often help people move forward to the next step in their marriage.

Postnuptial Agreements

A postnuptial agreement is a written agreement executed or made official between spouses while they are married. (As opposed to a prenuptial agreement which is executed before the couple gets married.)

A postnup is often reached during marital mediation giving the couple a working agreement that can be upheld by the parties if duly executed. Many couples find relief in the terms negotiated in the marital mediation process and as a result have more security for their marriage going forward.

Call The Berner Law & Mediation Group Today

Marital mediation is a confidential, nonjudgmental process, ideal for those who want to make their marriages work but are not sure how. It’s voluntary and non-adversarial, and led by an attorney/mediator who will help define areas of conflict for mutual solutions. In a non-threatening and comfortable setting, the mediator will set the stage for frank discussions. 

Many people tend to find the mediation process to be more effective than other methods of intervention. This tends to be because the mediation process is more focused on finding solutions to issues rather than focusing on fault or blame. The negotiations and understandings may or may not result in a written agreement. This is completely up to the couple. In any event, it can be a step forward in mutual understanding and respect and may let a marriage live to see a new day.

Call The Berner Law & Mediation Group to see how we can help answer your questions about mediation and see if it is the right fit for you and your spouse.

Schedule an Appointment Today

For further information or to schedule an appointment, contact the Berner Law & Mediation Group.

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New York

One Grand Central Place, Suite 4600
New York, NY 10165

New Jersey


Phone: 201-836-0777

One University Plaza,
Suite 214
Hackensack, NJ 07601

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