Celebrating the Holidays After Divorce: Tips for Navigating the Season Together

The holiday season can stir a wide range of emotions for families going through or adjusting to divorce. Traditions may look different, schedules may feel unfamiliar, and the weight of wanting the holidays to feel “normal” for your children can be heavy. Still, even in the midst of change, holidays offer an opportunity to model compassion, cooperation, and resilience for your children. Divorce is not just a transition for parents, it is a transition for children as well, and they learn from how you respond to this new chapter.

One of the most helpful frames for approaching the holidays after divorce is to view the family not as broken, but as reorganized. This mindset shift can ease stress, reduce conflict, and give both parents room to create meaningful traditions that honor your children’s needs. Mediation and collaborative divorce support this way of thinking. These approaches focus on problem-solving and communication; tools that allow families to move into the holiday season with clarity rather than conflict. This stands in contrast to a more adversarial divorce process, where parents often feel pitted against one another, and where cooperative holiday planning can become especially difficult.

With the shared goal of supporting your children during a meaningful time of year, here are some suggestions to consider as you navigate the holidays post-divorce:

1. Plan Ahead—Together

One of the greatest gifts you can give your children during the holidays is predictability. Work together with your co-parent to create a clear plan that honors both households and avoids unnecessary surprises. Discuss schedules early, communicate about school events or family gatherings, and clarify how transitions will happen. When parents coordinate respectfully, children feel secure.

2. Honor Old Traditions—But Make Space for New Ones

Your history as a family doesn’t disappear just because your structure has changed. If certain traditions have always been meaningful to your children, do your best to maintain them, even if the format needs adjusting. At the same time, this is an opportunity to create new traditions, perhaps a special meal, a nighttime walk to see neighborhood lights, or a quiet moment reflecting on gratitude. These new traditions can help your children feel grounded in both homes.

3. Support Your Child’s Relationship With Their Other Parent

The holidays are not just about gifts, they are about giving children space to love both parents freely. Helping your child choose or make a gift for their other parent, encouraging them to enjoy their holiday time in both homes, and speaking positively about the other parent all go a long way. Even though you and your co-parent are no longer partners, your child is part of both of you. Your behavior teaches them how to show respect, kindness, and appreciation.

4. Be Mindful—Your Child Is Always Watching

Holiday stress affects adults, but children absorb more than you may realize. Your tone, your body language, and the way you handle disagreements all send messages. The holidays are an ideal time to model patience, cooperation, and warmth even when things feel difficult. These moments become powerful lessons your children carry into their own relationships and celebrations throughout their lives.

5. Focus on Quality Time Over Perfection

It can be tempting to recreate the “perfect” holiday, but what children value most is time spent with you. Rather than striving for elaborate events, focus on small, meaningful moments: baking together, lighting candles, telling stories, or sharing a simple activity without distractions. These are the memories that last, and they strengthen your connection during a time of transition.

Finding Peace in a New Season

While the holidays after divorce may feel unfamiliar at first, they can also become a season of healing and growth. With intention, empathy, and communication, you can help create a holiday experience that reassures your children that family, love, and celebration still remain just in a new form.

Warm holiday wishes from Berner Law & Mediation Group.